How Do I Sort Through 40 Years of Belongings?

Start with a room you do not use, work in short sessions, and let the size of your next home decide how much comes with you. Save photos, letters, and keepsakes for last, when you have had practice with easier choices.

I am Delia Bayna, a REALTOR with eXp Realty in Salt Lake City, Utah, and a Seniors Real Estate Specialist (SRES). Sorting is the part of downsizing people dread most, and here is how I help them get through it.

Forty years in one house leaves a lot of things behind, and most of them hold a memory. You open a box to sort it and find a child's first report card, or a recipe card in handwriting you would know anywhere. Then the afternoon is gone, and the box is still full.

Stopping there does not mean you did it wrong. The things mattered, and so did the years. There is a little grief in every box, and knowing that ahead of time helps you be patient with yourself.

You also do not have to finish before you decide anything. Right now, the only goal is to make a start.

Pick the room you miss least. A spare bedroom, a linen closet, or the hall closet full of coats nobody wears are all good places to begin. Easy rooms build the habit before the hard ones test it.

Work in short blocks. Two hours is plenty for one day. Stop while you still have some energy left, so you want to come back.

Keep boxes, trash bags, and a marker with you while you work. Write where each box is going before you close it: keep, family, donate, or sell. If something is hard to decide, put it in a "later" box and keep moving. One hard choice should not stop ten easy ones.

Asking "Do I love this?" will not get you far, because you love most of it. Ask "Where will this go in my next home?" instead.

If you know where you are moving, get a floor plan and measure. Count the kitchen cabinets and the closets. A smaller home holds fewer dishes, fewer beds, and less furniture than the house you have now, and seeing the real space makes each choice clearer.

If you do not know where you are going yet, that is fine. Picture the size you are aiming for, and sort toward it. My downsizing quiz can help you think that through. If you have not found your number or a rough idea of your next place, I walk through the order in what to do first if you are thinking about selling.

In Salt Lake City, the hardest room is often downstairs. Many homes here have a full basement, and after a few decades it holds the holiday boxes, the kids' old things, camping gear, and shelves of food storage. The garage holds the rest: snow shovels, sleds, and tools for a yard you may not have next time.

Start the basement early, and in pieces. Check the dates on stored food, and offer unexpired cans to a local food pantry. Ask first, because many pantries cannot take home-canned jars. Old paint and chemicals usually cannot go in the trash, so check with your city or county about where to take them.

Basement stairs are also where people get hurt. Carry small loads, keep a hand on the rail, and let a family member or a hired crew bring up the heavy boxes. If you can, clear the basement and garage before the snow comes, while the driveway and walks are still dry.

If your grown children live nearby, ask them to come take what is theirs. Give them a date, and tell them what will happen to anything still there after it.

Save these for last. By the time you reach them, you will have practice deciding, and you will know how much room you have.

You do not have to sort every photo before you move. Gather them into a few labeled boxes and bring them with you. Going through them can be a good winter project in your new home, maybe with a grandchild who can scan the best ones.

For a big piece with a story, like a quilt or a cedar chest, take a picture of it and write down the story behind it. Sometimes the story is the part you most want to keep, and the piece itself can go to someone who will use it.

Start this week with one closet, two hours, and a few boxes. Do it again next week. Work toward the basement and garage before winter, and leave the photos for the end.

If the job is too big to do alone, a senior move manager can help. That is a professional who helps people sort, pack, and plan a move, and some will set up the new home too. Ask what they handle and for references. You still decide what stays and what goes.

You do not have to finish sorting before you list. The house needs to be clean and clear enough for buyers to see it, which I explain in getting your house ready for listing photos. Many sellers keep sorting right up to moving day.

Once we are working together, I call and email every Friday, whether there is news or not, so you are never sorting and wondering at the same time. I taught school for eighteen years, and I learned that big jobs get done one small piece at a time, with a rest before anyone wears out. My downsizing page shows how the sorting, the sale, and the next home fit together. How fast you go is your call.

Where do I start when downsizing a house full of belongings?

Start with a room you do not use, like a spare bedroom or a hall closet. Work in two-hour blocks, and save photos and keepsakes for last.

How long does it take to sort through a whole house?

It depends on the house and on you. Many people need a few months of steady, short sessions. Starting early means you never have to rush.

What do I do with things my kids left at my house?

Ask them to come take what is theirs by a certain date, and tell them what will happen to anything left after that.

Do I have to sort everything before I sell?

No. The house needs to be clean and clear enough for buyers to see it. Some sorting can wait until the weeks before you move.